ACTORS:
Alee –cute girl, very proper. Also, she's in to music. (Narayah Lowechin)
Chester –a lazy slacker, serial pickup artist from the block (Johnathan K. Johnson)
Marlene –from El Salvador, a former model/gangster rap video girl (Camille Woodward-Brown)
Bee –a wise old woman, aka "Nasty Bitty" (Aida Prieto)
SETTING:
A quiet bus stop in the afternoon.
Act 1
Alee: (waiting at the bus stop alone)
Chester: (walking up) Hey there sweet heart.
Alee: (smiling) Hi how are you?
Chester: You know I don't see too many beautiful ladies at this bus stop. Usually, it's just nasty old bitties.
Alee: (laughing) Oh wow! That's funny, but we all get older one day.
Chester: Don't remind me of all that. Let me just enjoy you right now, okay? So what is your name?
Alee: It's Alee.
Chester: Hi, my name is Chester. (grinning) So what are you doing in this area?
Alee: Well I'm on my way to the radio station to pick up my free tickets for the Aerosmith concert.
Chester: You won them? Wow that's awesome! I love their music!!
Alee: Have you seen them before live? This is my third time seeing Aerosmith. They're great performers and I have loved their music since I was a child.
Chester: So are you taking anyone?
Alee: Well I've never gone to a concert alone, but the person I wanted to take can't make it.
Chester: Aw that's no fun! You should have someone who can enjoy it with you. (making motions to himself)
Alee: Well I know I just met you, but since I don't have anyone to take to this show. You wanna go tomorrow night?
Chester: Damn! Absolutely! Those are probably the hardest tickets to get right now, and you want to take me?
Alee: Well, I certainly wouldn't be wasting them if I was sharing them with a guy like you.
Chester: Alright! Okay! How hard was it to get those tickets? You must really be a fan to call that many times to win the tickets.
Alee: You're right. I was calling almost all day yesterday, and I am a HUGE fan. Before my momma died, she used to play their records all the time. She has loved them since she's been my age. She told me how my grandpa used to yell at her all the time for playing their music. He used to gripe about anything my mother listened to; he said it wasn't becoming for a young woman to listen to rock n' roll. But then grandpa came around. Soon grandpa and ma were listenin' to 'em together. Right before I was born, my grandpa went with my mom to her first Aerosmith concert. All the other girls were going with dates, but it was mom and gramps headin' to the concerts together. You ever gone to a show with your mom or dad?
Chester: (fading attention) uhm… oh, nope. (watching someone come in from off stage, Marlene starting to approach from off-stage.)
Alee: (ignoring his distraction and continuing on) Well, that's why I wanted to get these tickets in the first place. I wanted to bring Gramps to another show. But he's not as active as he was back then. He doesn't think he'd be able to handle the rough crowds for an entire concert, and he told me not to waste good tickets on old bones like him. I think he's sweet for saying I should get a date instead, but something tells me he's missing my mom a little, too. Ya know?
Chester: yeah… uh-huh.
Act 2
[Another girl walks in, and Chester loses interest in Alee and directs all his attention to Marlene.]
Chester: (slyly to girl #2, Marlene) Hey there… uhm, you know what time the next bus gets here?
Marlene: (with a flirty smile back) It'll be in like ten. You headed downtown, too?
Alee: (words interrupting the other conversation she doesn't know is taking place) So that'll be great, we'll meet there a little before the show. You know the place I'm talking about?
Chester: (ignoring Alee) I'm going where you're going girl.
Marlene: (giggling) You're corny, but you're really cute, too.
Alee: (a little irritated) uhm, excuse me. Over here!
Chester: (to Alee) Uh oh, my bad. Right, hold on one second. (to Marlene) Sorry, this is my friend Alee, and I'm Chester. (to Alee) look, here's my number, call me before the show. (to Marlene) you think I can get your number sweetheart?
Marlene (enjoying pissing off another girl), yeah, here you go. My name is Marlene, and my number is… (whispers numbers to him, he writes it down on paper.)
Alee: (stands looking pissed off holding Chester's number.)
Chester: What time did you say it was again?
Alee and Marlene: (in unison, and Alee is obviously pissed at Marlene) Ten minutes.
Chester: (looking nervous) Oh SNAP! Look Marlene, I gotta go. But Imma give you a call, K. (to Alee uncaringly) Cya.
[CHESTER EXITS. JUST AFTER, BEE ENTERS. ALEE AND MARLENE STAND THERE LOOKING TICKED OFF WITH EACH OTHER.]
Act 3
Marlene: What is that look for?
Alee: I don't know you standing there acting special. He was talking to me first, after all.
Marlene: I never said I was special, even though it is true. I mean, the number is right here (waving the slip of paper).
Alee: I got his number too! But HE is coming to the concert with ME. He just calling you cuz you look like a hussie.
Marlene: A hussie? Really? I know how to put myself together. But if you were to learn how to put yo'self together, you wouldn't need some lousy concert tickets to get a date.
Alee: First of, you call that look 'put together'? You in here thinkin' you're a supermodel, but you look like a groupie.
Bee: (starting to giggle in the background)
Marlene: Why you stupid tramp! Look at you!? You don't have the body to wear what you be wearing. But you go ahead and tell yourself whatever you have to. I would if I was ugly.
Bee: (laughing hysterically)
Alee & Marlene: (in unison) WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM OLD LADY?!?
Bee: My problem? Young women are all the same, and they're always falling for the same tricks. Uh-huh, that's right…
[Alee & Marlene looking confused.]
Bee: (cont.) …Every day I see that clown 'round here, trying to pick up women like it's his full-time job. Who hangs out at the bus stop all day, and never goes anywhere?
[Alee and Marlene starting to look like they've been duped.]
Bee: I betcha he left once he realized that I was coming, cuz I'm always ready to out him. Unfortunately for you two, it seems he got to work early today.
Marlene: Why that ignorant ass.
Alee: Haha, you been played.
Marlene: Are you that stupid, he played you too.
Alee: I guess you right, but what are you gonna do with that number?
Marlene: you still want him? I'm throwing this number out.
Alee: You trying to push that joke on me!?! I'm not that stupid.
Bee: Hell, almost every asinine, little girl who's ever stood at this stop has that clown's number. That's the problem with you girls nowadays. You don't see the difference between a sincere man, and a little boy who's trying to jump in your pants with silly lines. I can't believe women these days! They're more concerned with getting attention or looking good than using their heads.
[moment of silence between the two young women while they take in Bee's knowledge.]
Alee: what am I gonna do with this spare ticket now?
Marlene: is the concert any good?
Alee: it's Aerosmith you hussie! (giggling)
Marlene: (looking shocked) really?
Alee: yeah. You wanna go?
Marlene: yeah, let's do it. But let's keep the stupid clowns off each other too. Okay?!?
Alee: Okay.
[Bus arrives. All three women board.]
THE END.
